1 LiveBloggin' the ICW: Time for a Rant....

Monday, March 24, 2014

Time for a Rant....

Three of the idiots running off the biggest boat's generator,
sound reflecting off the rock face. They got a 2 am visit...
Ok, you're warned - this is a rant, and I'm LONG overdue for a good rant. So clip in and hang on, it's gonna be a rough one.
As you know, I'm south of Miami, in Biscayne Bay. It's lovely here, sunny, warm and great sailing on the bay. I'd have moved on by now but I'm awaiting word on a delivery job out of Cuba - once the timing on that is confirmed, I'm out of here.
In the meantime, I'm horrified by the boaters I find here. Can anyone (PLEASE!) explain to me the logic of buying a boat, usually a power boat, worth well over a half million dollars, and the owner doesn't spend $500 to hire a captain or instructor for a day to teach him how to dock and anchor it? Do you know how tiring it gets to spend an entire afternoon telling people - "no, you're anchored too close, you'll have to move" - and they don't get it, argue that they're just fine...and then, fifteen minutes later, swing to within two feet of your boat. They then give you this smarmy smile, and move. Except for the brainless jerks who ask you to 'let out' or 'take in' some anchor rode. I'm sure you can guess what I tell them...
Just what is wrong with these people? Is it that they can afford the deductible when they scrape it down the side of a concrete seawall, which I've seen happen, or drag in the middle of the night into someone else?
Actually, that last never happens. These people NEVER anchor out overnight. Then they couldn't use their aircon and pretty lights that illuminate the water, and their stereos...
LIKE THAT IDIOT who came in with a stereo whose volume rivalled KISS's stage setup, at 10 pm. And yes, he had the pretty lights thing going too.
Talking about pretty lights, who is the brain dead fool who decided to design headlights into some of the new boats, ones usually in the 25 foot range? Every now and then, coming down the ICW, you'll run into one of these jerks with his headlights blinding everyone ahead of him - and if you've ever spent any time out at night, you know that this kind of lighting is essentially useless. It only serves to ruin your night vision. There's no point in trying to contact this fool on the VHF - I guarantee you, if he even has one, it isn't on. Or can't be heard above his stereo.
AUUUGGGGHHHHHH! I just cross my fingers and hope that they go aground - at high tide.
There is a variety of power boater that does anchor out....if it's not the guy with the new Sea Ray and the pretty lights, it's usually guys with old, beat up boats in the mid 20 foot range - who have installed the damn pretty lights, I am not kidding. Pretty blue/red/white/green LEDs are now mandatory on all power boats. I bet these guys take out second mortgages on their homes just to have them.
They also always have a swim platform. It's purpose? So that they can run their cheapie generator on it ALL NIGHT LONG, and keep the entire anchorage awake. And keep themselves comfortable with their aircon.
This is a talisman of EVIL - do not buy or use on pain of a halyard wrap!
They don't typically buy an expensive Honda generator which is reasonably quiet, even at 2 am - oh no, they buy the Harbour Freight cheapie, on sale for $89, that rivals a DC7 for noise levels. In fact, they may even use this generator ON a DC7.
This lack of consideration however is not limited to Biscayne Bay. I've met these inconsiderate twits as far north as Covered Portage Cove in Georgian Bay, Lake Huron. The difference there is that the noise reflects off the 300 foot cliffs all around that anchorage. Isn't that special? They, of course, are in their v-berths and insulated from the racket coming off their swim platforms...by the gentle white noise of the friggin' aircon that is running in their boats. And yes, that's their photo at the top of this post.
The generator also helps keep the pretty lights of these knuckle draggers running all night long, since they don't have enough of a battery bank to support even a string of LEDs. And no, they can't turn them off, that's not cool! I've tried asking. You'd have more luck getting them to sell their children.
The other night, one of these (insert your own pejorative!) was anchored upwind of me after the wind shifted, about 50 feet away. On top of the noise, his exhaust fumes were coming in my v-berth hatch. How very special.
So, at 2 in the morning, there I am rowing over to ask him to turn the (insert your own pejorative here) thing off. He didn't...he upped anchor and moved about 100 yards further upwind, thus annoying some other sailors. I honestly felt guilty about this, here I am inflicting this twit on someone else. I got over it though. Maybe if enough people chase him away, he'll GO away.
People sometimes wonder why sailors sail way out to the farthest island in a group, such as Hope Island in Georgian Bay, when there are so many closer in and easier to get to.
It's because no one else goes there. It's because the mindless twerps are only interested in getting to someplace with 8 bazillion other mindless twerps where they can anchor their boats, play their music as loud as they can, shout and scream and laugh at their buddies who are dragging (again), and generally annoy reasonable people with their antics.
So why do I remain here, at least, on the weekends? Honestly? It's because most of the other anchorages in the area are FAR worse. This being a state park, there is at least some regulation constraining these people. There is water - not easy to come by in Biscayne Bay, there's even one marina that will NOT provide water even when you fuel up - a shower, easy shore access for the dog...
You want to try getting ashore at Coconut Grove - you have to climb a seawall without ladders that at low tide is at least seven feet...try that carrying a 35 pound pooch.
On the other hand, I could be home, in Canada, shovelling the latest heavy snowfall - ah, gee, I'm feeling better already. Imagine that. I haven't seen a snow shovel in ten years, don't own winter boots or gloves....ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Life really is good. Time to crack a cold one, perhaps put the hammock up on the foredeck...
Ok, end of rant. Thank you for your patience, that should do nicely for the next few months. We now return you to your normally scheduled surfing...

(p.s. I know that most powerboaters are not like this, and readers of this blog most certainly aren't - but geez, why are there so many of them in this one area? And I didn't even get to the ones like the guy who just roared into the anchorage, waking all the tied off boats, or the jet skiers...)